By: Lindsey Cotton
It’s Saturday night and you’re sitting at home alone wishing you could call him to take you to dinner. Saturday is “not your day” so you try and wrap your head around staying at home alone wondering if he is doing to her the same things he does to you. Your man or should I say your split man is with his woman for the night. His woman, the other person he spends his time with, that he told you about from the very beginning.. that you naively said you were okay with it. When he is with you its like nothing else matters but you and him so why should you care that four out of the three days of the week are not yours.
Four days out of three sis you alone when in all actuality you alone all the time. Your split man is living the dream he has not one woman but two to fulfill his every desire. But what are you getting from the arrangement? His woman is his first priority always will be if she wants one of your days she will have it. You will not take any weeklong vacations or have the chance to bear his children. The split man only shares with you his sex, money, and occasionally his attention.
I sat in the beauty shop one Friday afternoon listening to a woman rationalize why this was the relationship for her. I listened as she gave her reasons why being careful not to judge. This woman was content not being the girlfriend or the wife but instead the side chick for her split man. She named him her split man as she knew from jump he had a woman and she would be the only one besides him knowing she had to share.
Holidays, birthdays, and most anniversaries spent alone with an occasional flower delivery or a text and phone call. As she continued talking I saw the hurt in her eyes and wondered how many other women feel this is the best there is and all they deserve.
Sis, when you taking this as a relationship and I use that word loosely ask yourself why?
Why am I content sharing a man?
Why am I allowing myself to not be a priority?
What is my worth?
How do I remove yourself from this situation?
Removing yourself from the relationship has to occur if it makes you feel less than and has negative effects on you. Being emotionally invested in a one sided relationship is a recipe for disaster longing for more than the split man will give you is unfair to do yourself.
Take a leap and decide no more! Take the steps to remove yourself completely from his life. Spend time with good friends that can help fill any voids you may have once he is out of the picture. But taking time up with a man that will never be yours only diminishes the woman you should be and that is screaming to get outside of you. Let her out and find the man that is whole no splitting just a man made just for you. He is out there sis I promise you but in 2018 a split man is not the look for you.