By Ebony Williams
“If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather, it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation.”
― Madeleine L’Engle
Have you ever spent so much time and energy looking for clues in the person you’re dating to see if it’s leading to commitment? Have you been so wrapped up in your dating experience that you’ve forgotten to check in with yourself? I am guilty of this, but before you make the move to a committed relationship, you need to spend time assessing where your mind and heart is.
Ask yourself, do you get upset at the thought of them being with someone else? Do you want them to be part of your daily activities? Are you excited when you’re going to spend time with them? If the answers to those questions are yes, then these are good indicators that you might be ready to be exclusive. The key here is not to rush in whole heartedly. Rather give yourself some time to get to know the person you’re dating, to see if you want to be in their life long-term and vice-versa. Are there any rules about how soon is too soon? No, but there is never a right time to define a relationship.
In surveying women, I asked what is the maximum amount of time they were willing to date before he committed ie; 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, etc. and the ladies stated that they believe there is no right time when becoming exclusive. That resonated with me so much, because personally, I have to feel that Jhene Aiko “While We’re Young” vibe with the person I’m dating. It has never been about the timeframe, and I always wanted to make sure we were on the same page, and that their soul was right. I believe the best way to truly learn about another person is to take the time needed to get to know them before making a commitment.” The most valuable key is there are no rules to this dating game, so take your time, forget the pressures, and go with your heart. Take the time to assess and invest before seeking commitment.