Is your new bae leading you on?

Is your new bae leading you on?

By Lindsey Cotton

IG: @lindsey_monique_

You met him out with your girls and he seemed almost too good to be true. He was just the right build, smelled delicious, and that smile… Lord have mercy. By the time you got home that night he sent a text, simply saying he wanted to make sure you made it home. Over the course of the next month you are in constant contact — good morning texts, flowers, and ‘just thinking of you’ calls. You quickly find yourself falling head over heels, letting all your guards down for what seems like the perfect match.

Then it all stops.

A day goes by then two and before you know it, a week has gone by and he hasn't returned one phone call or responded to any of your texts. You went from eating off of the entire loaf to not even having a crumb to satisfy your craving for his attention.

As you sit and ponder what in the world happened to make him just suddenly fall off the face of the earth he sends a small piece of attention, in the form of a text. And like an eager, and alone woman, you soak it up and wait until he offers his attention to you again.

New bae could potentially be leading you on, giving you just enough attention to feel like you my have a chance at a relationship with him, when in fact you may not. When men string you along, the goal is to have your attention captivated, giving you just enough just in case the woman he’s truly pursuing doesn't work out. Or you may just be one of many he likes to entertain from time to time out of boredom. 

So now that you have established what is going on, how do you break the cycle?

First things first, make it clear that his form of communication is not acceptable and until he makes a decision to be a consistent in your life that door is now closed. Clearly state that occasional conversation/interaction is not what you are looking for and disappearing acts are for magicians and you are removing yourself from the act.

Next, stop responding to his phone calls and texts. Making yourself available to him anytime he decides to drop you a line shows desperation and tolerance for his actions. If a relationship with you is what he truly wants he will take the steps necessary to make and show that you are his priority.

Finally, know your worth as a woman. We only tolerate bull crap when we do not know our worth. Having a man does not define you and having one giving you scraps definitely is not worth wasting time just to say you have someone.

Stick to your guns and save space and time in your life for the man giving you their full attention.



  • I will say I am an advid reader that bookworm so i am here for this forsure.You are very much so a good writer.

    Cheron Turner
  • Lindsay, I love this read! I’ve been in this position before and I have declared NEVER AGAIN. I can tend to allow one too many chance and end up heart broken. Communication is essential I agree!! If he avoids certain topics or dances around the convo, then A. he’s either not that into you, B. immature minded or C. already tryna keep you in the cut just in case side piece don’t work out like you already stated!! Thank you sista!!

  • I forgot how good of a writer you are. I look forward to reading more. Good job!! Keep it up!


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