How to keep your identity when in a relationship

How to keep your identity when in a relationship

By: Lindsey Cotton

Instagram: @lindsey_monique_

He texts you and your face lights up. He calls and you run to the phone. He asks you out to dinner and you drop all of your other plans. But what about when he isn't calling and texting. Is your existence so wrapped up in a man that when he is not around or calling you are lost. Have you blown off friends so much that when you call they no longer want to make plans as they feel neglected. Is it okay to let go of who you are because you have found your person?

We have all experienced a great love that gives you butterflies and makes your heart feel the fullest it has ever felt. Feeling that love and having that special person though should not diminish your own light. Not losing yourself for “HIM” is of utmost importance.

Women are by nature nurturers and pleasers so its natural to want to always be available but not at the sake of the people that have been a constant in your life before he entered the picture. Your girlfriends should still be a part of your life getting girls nights or meeting for a bite to eat and drinks for that mandatory girl time. Don't throw to the side the ones who may have to be there to pick up the pieces if your “him” does not work out as planned.

Make sure also that you still make time to do the things that you enjoy doing. Maintain your me time what ever that may entail. Continue to enjoy your hobbies and activities. Remember you were doing all of those things when you met “him” and obviously he saw something there that he liked so why would you stop doing all the things that make you who you are.

Don’t lose yourself ladies behind who you think is your person. Maintain your own sense of identity and watch that man if he is really “him” fall in love with you even more. But a “him” who is only out for his own selfish interests will not appreciate a woman who keeps her identity and still makes time for herself. He will instead become the little boy that he is and demand more attention and more of your time. It may seem cute in the beginning and you may think oh he just loves being around me but at what expense to your future happiness.

Always keep your identity. Don’t lose who you are and friends in the process just to say you have “HIM”.


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