Getting what you want out of your relationships

Getting what you want out of your relationships

By: Lindsey Cotton

IG: @lindsey_monique_

Girl he gets on my last nerve!”

But two months ago did you overlook that behavior? Was it ok or did it also bother you then, but you ignored it because you were desperate for attention? Getting what you want out of a relationship depends on what you are willing to accept in the very beginning. In any relationship making yourself clear on what you will accept can reduce a world of heartache in the end.

If you are only looking for a relationship for the sake of not being alone, stop searching for a partner and instead work on yourself. Being with someone out of fear of being alone allows that person to do things that if you were secure in yourself and in a relationship for the right reasons you would not accept. A woman that knows her worth and is secure in herself will not tolerate any nonsense.

Spending time alone without a partner is time to reflect and find out exactly what you want for yourself before putting another person into the equation. So if you are jumping from one relationship to another STOP. Take time to be alone! If you never give yourself time to stand in your singleness and learn who you are then relationships that follow will be empty cycles of disappointment. Go find yourself first and then let that special person find you. Once you have yourself together you’d be amazed how things effortlessly fall into place.

Once a significant other enters your life, don’t forget who you are. Trying to change and mold yourself into what someone else wants you to be is not standing in your truth. Having a voice is essential to making sure you are staying true to yourself and not becoming someone elses puppet. If a behavior is not acceptable, it’s important to address it at the first sign of it rearing its head. Letting behaviors fester and continue that you deem unacceptable, will only allow for more instances in which behaviors occur that could possibly be deal breakers. Voice your concern and give the person a chance to correct it and if it still isn’t meeting your standards, move on. Grown adults cannot change other adults and you shouldn't try to.

Find yourself first, learn your worth, find your voice, and then find your bae.

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